A sobering trend of divorce among those over 50 is becoming more common not just this country, but the world. Coined the “gray divorce”, it is a trend is being discussed among the heavy hitters of popular media: New York Times, TIME Magazine, Washington Post, and Forbes Magazine.
A 2014 article out of Bowling Green, Kentucky (https://contemporaryfamilies.org/growing-risk-brief-report/), found that the divorce rate for those over 50 had doubled and had more than doubled for couples over 65 between 1990 and 2010. The rate has more than doubled for couples 65 years and older. This is not just an American phenomenon. Elena Stancanelli from the Paris School of Economics also noted a similar trend in France in her paper, “Divorcing Upon Retirement” (http://www.parisschoolofeconomics.eu/docs/stancanelli-elena/divorcing-upon-retirement-stancanelli-february-2015.pdf).
In reality, older individuals are often in subsequent marriages, which have always had higher divorce rates than first marriages. This allows some to dismiss this “gray divorce” trend as merely a consequence of divorcees who are 50 and older divorcing again. However, the studies noted that there is also a substantial uptick in “gray divorces” involving first marriages. In fact, according to the Bowling Green study, more than 55% of gray divorces involve marriages that have lasted over 20 years. This, in part, stems from the higher standards people have for the marriage establishment. For example, society no longer views a marriage as successful merely because “he is a good provider” and “she is a good homemaker”. Now, people expect their spouse to be their best friend and are unwilling to stay in a marriage in which they don’t feel satisfied. Additionally, a longer life expectance means that an unsatisfied spouse could spend another 20 years in a marriage, often with more time than ever at home with their estranged spouse.
Although the divorce rate among the 50 + crowd is rising, the perils of divorce are even more pronounced. In fact, the same Bowling Green study noted that the finances of those divorcees were only 20% of their married counterparts, and only half of those of the same age who were widowed.
Regardless of why you find yourself facing divorce after 50, The Byers Law Firm is here to help you navigate the maze you are about to enter. A person facing the end of a long-term marriage will need to consider the following:
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In reality, older individuals are often in subsequent marriages, which have always had higher divorce rates than first marriages. This allows some to dismiss this “gray divorce” trend as merely a consequence of divorcees who are 50 and older divorcing again. However, the studies noted that there is also a substantial uptick in “gray divorces” involving first marriages. In fact, according to the Bowling Green study, more than 55% of gray divorces involve marriages that have lasted over 20 years. This, in part, stems from the higher standards people have for the marriage establishment. For example, society no longer views a marriage as successful merely because “he is a good provider” and “she is a good homemaker”. Now, people expect their spouse to be their best friend and are unwilling to stay in a marriage in which they don’t feel satisfied. Additionally, a longer life expectance means that an unsatisfied spouse could spend another 20 years in a marriage, often with more time than ever at home with their estranged spouse.
Although the divorce rate among the 50 + crowd is rising, the perils of divorce are even more pronounced. In fact, the same Bowling Green study noted that the finances of those divorcees were only 20% of their married counterparts, and only half of those of the same age who were widowed.
Regardless of why you find yourself facing divorce after 50, The Byers Law Firm is here to help you navigate the maze you are about to enter. A person facing the end of a long-term marriage will need to consider the following:
- Maintenance: Historically, this was known as alimony. It is money paid to a less income-producing spouse to help them meet an acceptable standard of living. In a 20-year marriage, you can almost guarantee that maintenance will be a large issue in the divorce process.
- Asset Valuation: In a divorce, a dollar sign will need to be placed on every thing the family owns. The home. The car. The furniture. For many things, valuation is pretty simple (hello, Bluebook!), so long as emotions do not rule the day. For other things, such as investments, family businesses, and stock, a long hard evaluation is necessary. Though modern legal trends don’t require 50/50 allocation of all assets, the court will be looking to fairly distribute property. Property asset valuation is crucial to fair asset distribution.
- Medical Benefits: Often times both spouses obtain medical coverage through the employer of a single spouse. Finding medical coverage at an age where things start “falling apart” and medical issues become more prevalent is no laughing matter. This is something that should be considered as assets are being divided in the marriage.
- Retirement: Let’s just face it, you will likely end up with approximately half of the wealth you anticipated for retirement. It’s not fair. You planned ahead. But running two households is ultimately nearly twice as expensive as one. A skilled attorney can help you avoid some of the damage to your retirement account by determining whether a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) can help you avoid damaging your retirement account when splitting that asset with your spouse.
- Kids: Did I just say that? Yes! Even if all the kids are out of the house and raising families of their own, never discount the impact your divorce will have on your children. And they may be adults, but what affects them emotionally will affect you too. Especially, because often times married couples over 50 are still financially assisting their kids. When the finances are separated, a party cannot be forced to pay “support” to an adult child against that spouse’s will. That means that your divorce may affect the kids financially too. After the end of the divorce process, you and your former spouse may not have to do custody exchanges, but you will have to navigate your children’s weddings, the births of your grandchildren, and grandparenting together. Don’t discount the kids when making your decisions in your gray divorce. Even as adults, kids will affect you.
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All pictures and written content within the pages of this blog are strictly for advertising purposes and are not to be utilized as legal advice.
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